Ups and downs. They will always be. There is no way to get away from them. Lately, I have been thinking about my whole life. I thought that, everything you get is bound to a condition. That is the way I lived so far. My life is a bulk of "should" or "should not"s.
- I should study to be better.
- I should make friends.
- I should have interesting aspects to be liked and accepted within a social environment.
- I should do this to have that.
Everything. Every single thing in my life is bound to conditions. And more than often, the price to be paid is not worth the prize. I always hoped to have some greater power watching over and protecting me from the hassle but none happened. More to that, usually the ones I trust were the ones proved that I shall never trust them. But this is life. And as said, I don't know if it is possible to live any other way. A life that you can have things without conditions. A life that you don't always have to pay a price. Just being there is enough.
If you have someone watching over. Someone, who is taking responsibilities (even the tiniest ones) off your shoulders or someone who is there for you without you asking, I envy you.