It was an interesting journey so far. And by the age of 36, I stand at the very same place that I used to be when I was 6. Nothing has changed really.
- There is nothing called being "an adult". It's just an illusion. I never felt grown up. Not even a single day.
- I am immune to encouragements. When someone or some book or some instagram quote is encouraging me to take risks, I simply say "bullshit". This is my story. My life. And each individual life has it's own conditions. One can invest all his money in a business and can get over it if it fails. I can't. Because they have a family or friends that can support them when things go bad. I don't. We are not the same. I take risks when I feel like I can.
- Shit will hit the fan as usual. I got used to it. I got over it. This is a never-ending cycle. But I know, it will pass. And it will be just a memory.
- There are two types of assholes. Those that I can see and those that I can not. They are not always explicit with their assholeries. But they sneakingly play on me. Or you. And they are experts on making you feel worthless, disgraced, small. Now I am well prepared to give them a taste of their own. I have learnt to be the asshole.
- 36 is just a number. Not the half way.
- If I have a concern, I say it. If I think something is wrong, I say it. I no longer fear to break anyone's heart. Fuck it. I can rant about anything. So what?
- I simply do not care that much. Does your skin have more or less melanin than I do? Are you a member of LGBTQ+(...)? Are you a vegan? Are you a believer or a non believer? I DON'T CARE! I don't define you with any of those so I won't mention them. But don't be fragile if I don't give a fuck about the politics of those stuff. You will not see me talking negative or positive about those things. They are personal. I don't care.
- Trust people. But never depend on them.
- I try to be with people who are wiser than I am. So I can learn from them.
- And I try to stay away from all idiots.
- Sharing a similar DNA and ancestors with people does not make them any more valuable than others. Blood ties do not have much meaning to me. I value the moments and experiences, common ideas more.
- I don't try to be this or that. I do what I enjoy. I do things that make me who I am. That is all.
- I can never be someone important. I can never leave a mark on this world. Things do not work out that way. I do what I do. And if that leaves a mark, good for me.
- There are things that are much more important, bigger, heavier than the shit-show going all around the world. I focus on those.
- I can change jobs and environment easily.
- I don't need friends. I need friendship. Those are different.
- I always loved poetry. I still do. I will always do.
And I love music. I love books. I love my family. I love being alive. I love thinking about stupid, nerd stuff all day long. I still love playing Diablo 3 and other RPG games. I am alive. And I will always be alive until the last day.
And Fuck IT! I have been through storms. I slept so many nights with an empty stomach, empty wallet, in cold and darkness. But here I stand as the person I wanted to be when I was 10 years old!